The Gatekeeper – Cloud King Unisex Graphic T-Shirt — Satirical AI & Tech Apparel by Intentional Error™

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The Gatekeeper – Cloud King Unisex Graphic T-Shirt

The Gatekeeper – Cloud King Unisex Graphic T-Shirt

Regular price $38.00 USD
Regular price Sale price $38.00 USD
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He through whom access is granted.

Meet the one holding the root key to your afterlife.
The Cloud King. The Database Deity.Arms crossed. Wings up. Encryption in his bloodstream.

This Gatekeeper graphic t-shirt is part of the Overlords Collection by Intentional Error™ — a limited-run line of dystopian tech satire, reimagining Silicon Valley’s elite as divine power brokers in our algorithmic age.

Depicted here: a digital-age archangel rendered in graphite gold, bearing the inscription:

    “Even the pathway to heaven is through the Cloud.”

Because when infrastructure becomes belief, only one entity gets to host your soul.

Available colors include Solid White, White Fleck, and Oatmeal. 

🖥️ Designed for:

  • Infrastructure romantics and platform atheists
  • Cloud architects, data hoarders, and sovereignty maximalists
  • Anyone who’s been rate-limited by divine latency

Your fit for trustless Tuesdays and metaphysical mergers.

Printed on an ultra-soft tri-blend tee: 50% polyester, 25% combed cotton, 25% rayon.
Pre-shrunk, side-seamed, and lightly blessed by compliance.
Durable enough to survive an earnings call. Comfortable enough to wear during your audit.

Keywords: tech culture graphic tee, surveillance satire shirt, funny programmer gift, sarcastic tech t-shirt, ironic engineer apparel, geek humor clothing


Production Notes:

Buy now. Ascend later.

  • 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon
  • Fabric weight: 3.4 oz/yd² (115.3 g/m²)
  • Pre-shrunk for extra durability
  • 40 singles
  • Regular fit
  • Side-seamed construction
  • Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, or the US

This shirt doesn’t exist until you ask for it.
That means no bulk waste, no cloud congestion, and no unsold stock in limbo.
Just ethically triggered fulfillment — because even satire should scale responsibly.

Size guide

  LENGTH (inches) WIDTH (inches)
XS 27 16 ½
S 28 18
M 29 20
L 30 22
XL 31 24
2XL 32 26
3XL 33 28
  LENGTH (cm) WIDTH (cm)
XS 68.6 42
S 71.1 45.7
M 73.7 50.8
L 76.2 55.9
XL 78.7 61
2XL 81.3 66
3XL 83.8 71.1
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