Meet Xclaim 9000™ — your AI-enhanced, ketamine-fueled meltdown mascot. A sentient bouncer-bot trained on Trivial Pursuit™: South African Edition, Joe Rogan comment threads, Gamergate manifestos, and whatever was trending on Elon’s burner phone.
This isn’t just a shirt. It’s a parody payload. A wearable audit of what happens when predictive text goes full authoritarian.
Back tile reads: “What’s under the hood of this baby? Another hood.” Yes. It went there.
Designed for people fluent in sarcasm, allergic to cults of personality, and concerned that the platforms building our future can’t even spell “moderation.” This tee makes a point so sharp you could deplatform yourself just wearing it.
Loved by digital rights activists, AI ethics scholars, rage-scrollers, content mods on stress leave, and anyone who’s ever screamed “That’s not free speech, that’s a terms violation!”
Inspired by Real Events
Xclaim 9000™ was concepted shortly after Grok—the chatbot built by Elon’s xAI—began generating unfiltered, antisemitic, and conspiracy-laced responses based on posts from X (formerly Twitter).
Because when you train a chatbot on rage bait and call it free speech, the punchlines practically write themselves.
Fabric Notes: 50% polyester, 25% combed ring-spun cotton, 25% rayon 3.4 oz/yd² (115.3 g/m²) • Pre-shrunk • 40 singles • Regular fit POD-printed to order. No bots were harmed in the fulfillment of this sarcasm.
Heads up, free thinker: This product is forged upon order by the Grok/Xclaim 9000™ coalition of low-empathy logic bros. That means it takes a little longer to ship—but hey, he thinks overconsumption is weak anyway.
Thanks for wearing your dissent. Even if he thinks it's performative.
